I'm pretty sure I've failed this test. What test you ask? Just life. No biggie, right?
I have spent the last 6 years complaining. Nothing made me happy
enough. Maybe I could be happy if we had our own place? Wait, we had no money....so that didn't make me happy either. Maybe I'd be happy if you we had more money
and our own place? Wait, I miss my husband. What husband? Oh, you mean that guy that sleeps here for a couple hours during the day in between working and being a full-time student? Yeah, that guy....hmmm...I sure miss him.
I can't even tell you how much time I have spent being unhappy. Aside from legit depression and anxiety I have spent way too much time dwelling on the negative things in our lives.
Next week we will be closing a
long chapter of our lives. Not for good, but for a little while. As I look at the possibilities of our future I am excited. Then I realized I am always excited for the
future, but hardly ever for the present. How can I be so excited about something only to get there and be disappointed? It's this endless cycle in my life.
If only I could get out of High School....If only I could get married.....If only I could have babies.......If only we could be done with school.....
If only....
Why can't I be happy with where I am in the present?
Sure my kids get sick. They get very cranky. They fight. They test my patience. I catch myself thinking that when they get older life will get easier. How do I let myself get into that cycle over and over again. I'm sure when we get to that stage I'll be unhappy about something else and telling myself that things will get easier when they are out of the house etc.
My Grandma (who is a very wise woman-having raised 9 amazing kids) told my mom once "if you can't be happy in the stage you are in, you won't be happy in the next. Don't spend your time wishing for the future, spend it loving the present."
I've probably heard that like a million times. For some reason today it rings true. I have failed this test. But guess what? I get to try again. Isn't that amazing?
Don't let a bad day make you think you have a bad life.
"Hope is putting faith to work, when doubting would be easier." Thomas S. Monson
Be nice to yourself. It's hard to be happy when someone is mean to you all the time.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7
You will come to know that what appears today as a sacrifice will prove instead to be the greatest investment you will ever make. Gordon B. Hinckley
The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone's highlight reel.
"In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our
happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater
importance." Dieter F. Uchtdorf
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother... Each mother has
different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly
different children... What matters is that a mother loves her children
deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her
husband, prioritizes them above all else." Elder M. Russell Ballard
“We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to
decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is
comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to
prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are.”
Marjorie Hinckley
"When we put God first, all other things fall into proper place." Ezra Taft Benson
Faith doesn't make things easy, it makes them possible.
"Is fat really the worst thing a person can be? Is fat worse than vindictive, jealous, shallow, vain, boring, or even cruel?" Not to me. J.K. Rowling
Feed your faith, and your fears will starve to death.
Even though I didn't pass this test with flying colors, I have learned a lot. The biggest lesson I've learned is this:
"Blessings" by Laura Story To here the song click
Here
We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise
One thing I know for certain: Heavenly Father is there and He loves me. Whatever happens in this life is only meant to make me a better person and to get me closer to Him.
